Slings & Sleepy Dust

Baby wearing is a concept I became familiar with during my first pregnancy.  I loved the idea of continuing to keep my baby close after birth as we learned to navigate this new life together.  It turns out I had much to learn.  This week I sat down with mum of three, breastfeeding counsellor, baby wearing consultant and owner of local business Sleepydust Sling’s, Rachel Keena, to learn more.

Like me, Rachel says it was love at first sight when she was introduced to the world of slings at a local breastfeeding group.  When her last little baba, Charlie was born, he was popped into a stretchy wrap and a total addiction developed, ultimately inspiring her to train as a baby wearing consultant - someone who is trained to teach caregivers how to safely wear/carry their babies and help them chose the sling that best suits their needs.

Can you outline some of the benefits of Baby Wearing?
- Babies who are carried statistically cry less.
- Carrying regulates baby's heart rate and oxygen levels, improves circulation and aids in digestion.
- Decreases the stress hormone levels in baby's blood stream resulting in a calm, relaxed, happy baby.
- Develops and strengthens all the muscles needed for sitting, standing and walking.
- Offers easy access to baby's food source when breastfeeding without needing to stop or sit down and offers privacy , if desired, when doing so.
- Promotes optimum hip development.
- Babies who are often carried fall asleep quickly in their sling and usually sleep deeper and for longer periods of time. It's often said slings come with Sleepydust, hence my name.

What are the most popular types of carrier?
The most popular types of carriers I have found through our sling meets and consultations are soft structured carrier's (SSC’s) followed closely by stretchy wraps for cuddling new-born babies. SSC's are a group of carriers that resemble a backpack in appearance. They have two padded shoulder straps and are secured with buckles. Many also have a padded waistband which all help to evenly distribute the weight of the child making it more comfortable for the wearer.
A stretchy wrap is a long piece of stretchy material usually made from 95% cotton and 5% elastane that you wrap around you and your baby.

Rachel provides three different types of consultations:
At “An Introduction to Slings Consultation”, we start by having a short chat about you, your baby and what you will be using your sling to do e.g. long walks, in and out of shops, around the house. We will then try then different options available that suit your needs while I explain the difference of each and the benefits and safety of baby wearing.  During a “Full Consultation” you pick the sling you want to use and we spend an hour perfecting your technique. I ensure everyone leaves comfortable and confident in their ability to wear their baby. I also provide a half hour “Troubleshooting Consultation”, where we tweak a carry you already know but something is not working.

Rachel facilitates a Sling Meet in Carlow and helps to admin the group's Facebook page, Sling Mammies Carlow. Drop along to a meet or visit www.sleepydustslings.ie

The Magic Of Disney

There are lots of great things about having kids.  Up there amongst my favourites is undoubtedly movie days.  Curling up by the fire, in our jammies, snuggling under blankets with bowls of hot, buttery popcorn that we've popped and just chilling out. Wet, winter weekends are perfect movie days. I never feel like I should be out and about so we’ve had quite a few lately. I love introducing yet another Disney classic to the kids. Just as my love of words was shaped in childhood by the incredible works of Roald Dahl so too has my love of film been shaped by the magic that is Disney.  A great tagline but so much more.  Bambi, Alice in Wonderland, The Jungle Book, 101 Dalmatians, Pinocchio, Lady and the Tramp, Peter Pan and many more. Happy memories of precious trips to a cinema that no longer exists. Castles, dragons, beautiful people and love at first sight, Disney has been fuelling the imaginations of children the world over since the 1937 release of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - the first full length animated film.

In my teenage years, I used babysitting as an excuse to watch and re-watch 90’s releases - Beauty & the Beast, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Aladdin, Mulan, Tarzan, The Lion King. Some have made their way into my own collection and Beauty & the Beast is up there with my all-time favourites.  For me a part of the magic also comes from the film score.  As a lover of music, I can’t help but completely loose myself.  During my time in Australia, I went to see The Lion King in the Sydney Opera House and it was one of the most incredible experiences ever.   The setting, the story, the music, the costumes, the colours – all mingled to create an absolutely electrifying couple of hours.  I’ve yet to make it to Disneyland but I’m sure that when we do, it won’t be just the children that are awed by the majesty!

As a huge admirer of Emmeline Pankhurst and The Suffragette movement, it hasn’t escaped my notice that Disney has been guilty of reinforcing patriarchal stereotypes.  It’s something that the company has been heavily criticised for, alongside the penchant for predominantly white characters.  I am however a realist and I think Disney pedaled a reflection of society.  It wasn’t bold or daring.  It didn’t seek to challenge attitudes of servitude and submission, or racial inequality.  Maybe it could have, but it’s doubtful that in doing so, it would be the empire it is today.  Rather, just like one of its stories, Disney has evolved, not quite a pace with society granted, but evolved none the less.  We see strong female lead characters, daring adventures and love coming not from a handsome prince but from within.  Movies like Frozen, Big Hero Six, The Lego Movie, and Moana all offer something very special. Walt Disney said that the real trouble with the world is that too many people grow up.  I think my inner child will always be kept young by movie days with Disney classics.

Putting The Friend In Friendship

There’s nothing quite like a chat with an old friend to lift your spirits.  As time moves on and families grow and so too do time commitments, I have found it increasingly difficult to catch up with my college girls.  I think about them often, the carefree times we shared, living and travelling the world together, taking our first real independent steps into adulthood. Get togethers are few and far between and I miss them.  I miss the divilment we used to get up to and I miss the chats and laughter that comes with sharing your life with friends. And I miss that they don’t really know the person that I am now. This Mommy person, who bakes, while doing homework and emptying the dishwasher before heading off to teach fitness classes is a tad different than the chain smoking, vodka swilling, centre of the dancefloor, wild woman, I once was.

Feeling nostalgic and under the guise of watching rugby training, I managed to sneak in an hour-long phone catch up with one of my best buds.  Within minutes of her picking up, I felt lighter, my mood was lifted and it got me thinking about just how hugely important our closest circles are and that even though we may be separated by distance and time, our friendships are our support systems, our tribe, and in many cases a lifeline.  By the time I hung up, we had barley stopped to breathe, as we caught each other up, tried to solve problems, laughed and promised to make meet up plans really soon.  And I vowed, as I always do, to simply make a greater effort to foster the important relationships in my life. But how?

Life coach Mar Healy has some sage advice.  “I always think that the arrival of a new baby is a good opportunity to figure out which friendships really matter to you, and which you might need to look at letting go of.  Your time is more precious now, than ever before, and you want to invest in friendships that nourish and support you and add to your life in a positive way.  If you come away from meeting a friend feeling, good, happy and a little better, then you’ve got a good one and you should try to hang on to it.  If on the flip side, your time together is always draining or hard work, it may be better to delicately let go and move on.  Making regular time to meet a good friend, who you feel relaxed and happy around, and who lifts your spirits is a brilliant way to be a better Mama.  You get time out and head space, quality adult human connection, and, as a result, come home a kinder, more tolerant and happier person to your little ones, and so everyone wins”.

As I get older and time becomes more of a precious commodity I’ve decided to take this advice and to truly invest in the people who support me, build me up and love me most.  

You can find out more about Mar’s great work at Mar Healy Coaching at www.marhealy.com

Because I Can

A new year always brings talk of resolutions. Be a new you, kick the bad habits, set new goals, make a fresh start.  I’ve done it myself. When I was a smoker, the new year was always when I’d push myself that little bit harder to quit. When I didn’t exercise, the new year was always when I found myself forking out for gym membership deals, that invariably fell by the wayside. If December was overindulgence, then January was redemption, a beacon of freshness and good intentions.   A clean slate.  

A resolution is a firm decision to do or not to do something and the practice is thought to originate with the ancient Babylonians, 4,000 years ago. The first recorded celebrations to honour the beginning of a new year, which for them began with the planting of the crops in March, also stem from this period. During a 12-day religious festival, the Babylonians crowned a new king or reaffirmed their allegiance to the reigning king and made promises to the gods to pay debts and return borrowed objects.  In ancient Rome, Caesar established January 1 as the beginning of the new year in honour of Janus, the two-faced god whose spirit was said to reside in doorways and arches. The Romans believed that Janus looked backwards into the past year and forward, into the future and they offered sacrifices and made promises of good behaviour for the coming year.  Since then New Year’s resolutions have evolved to be a mostly secular practice, although many religions still mark the event with prayers and offerings to their God. Nowadays most of us make resolutions only to ourselves, promising to work on some undesirable habit or trait, promising to change and to turn into an improved version of ourselves.

In recent years, the thing I’ve learned about change is that it can happen at any time and in lots of different ways, and more recently, that it’s not always a bad thing. Scary and challenging yes, but there can also be an opportunity for huge learning.  Sometimes we have no control over outcomes.  Illness strikes ourselves or those we love, unemployment hits, relationships breakdown and adulting can be overwhelming.  Often the only way through is by taking time to breathe, minute by minute, hour by hour and one day it won’t be so difficult anymore. We emerge changed, stronger, softer, more appreciative of the good things.  We don’t need a calendar date to say enough, to say start, to say no thank you. We just need the desire and often we just need a little nudge. 

And so, I’m going to take singing lessons, to try and finish the Spanish lessons I started years ago.  I’m going to go to my first opera, to dance around the kitchen more. To love my children that little bit extra and embrace the sometimes chaos that is my life. Not because it’s a new year, but simply because I can.

Let Them Eat Cake

I’m not sure when exactly I began measuring my success as a mother by my ability to make my children’s birthday cakes but somehow that is what has happened. 8 years of birthdays and for the very first time, this year I bought a cake. Both of my son’s birthdays are in November and this year I just simply did not have the time or energy to make and decorate cakes. No big deal. Except for me, buying a cake elicited feelings of sheer failure. I love organising the children’s birthday parties. It’s always great to get all the family together and it’s a matter of debate as to whether I go a tad OTT.

There was the year I made a volcano cake, adorned with lava and an exploding flare. This was also the year I made 24 papier mache dinosaur eggs and filled them with treats for kids to take home (oh no, I couldn’t have been happy with party bags, could I?). There was the year I melted Fox’s Glacier mints in the oven, painted them blue with food colouring and smashed them into a million pieces to make a Frozen cake, whilst also cutting out 40 million paper snowflakes (some of which are still hanging 2 years later). Then there was last year when I made a three-tier cake entirely of my littlest’s favourite fruits, followed by a Tullow Rugby Club jersey cake and goalpost cookies, a week later.

This year I had a request for a Thomas the Tank Engine cake for a 2 year old's Sunday party. Saturday afternoon arrived and I was utterly devoid of energy. I found myself in Dunne’s Stores in a state of panic. I paced the baking aisle talking myself into baking and then talking myself out of it again. I searched for something that would pass for Thomas, but to no avail. I rang Tesco to see if they had any Thomas cakes but no luck there either. The very lovely baker in Dunne’s suggested I try phoning Rath’s, and so with a quiver in my voice, I found myself ordering an 8 inch jam and cream sponge cake. I breathed a sigh of relief that Ruairí would have his much loved ‘choo, choo Thomas ‘licious’ cake but I also felt as if I was letting him down, which I’m aware is nonsense. But the feelings were very real.

Somewhere along the line, I set myself a very high standard and this month I didn’t reach it. But you know what, that’s O.K. My eldest is having his party tomorrow and as I type there is no cake. I fear
I’ve started down a slippery slope. Maybe I packed all my best children’s party planner days
into the last 8 years. Or maybe 2016 will go down as the year I realised I simply cannot do it all. Either way, the cake was delicious and I should know, I spent most of Sunday evening standing in front of the fridge, eating it with a spoon. Failure? Winner? Jury is out!

On The Catwalk

This week I shook my little tush on the catwalk (showing my age with that one) and I had a ball.  I was asked if I'd like to help with a fundraising fashion show for the Ballon Community Centre and as my sister and some friends were taking part, I thought it would be fun. I’ve made an agreement with myself to say yes to things that push my comfort zone and sashaying up and down in front of a room full of people definitely would not have been something that would have come easily to me in the past. I’ve been so busy lately that I barely had a chance to think about it, let alone get stressed but as the start time approached in Mount Wolseley, the nerves did start to kick in and there were some initial butterflies but once I got out on stage, I enjoyed every second of it.

It would be hard not to enjoy wearing beautiful clothes from some of Carlow’s finest shops. My outfits came from Erre Esse and Savana Boutiques and being styled by them was great fun - again pushing the boundaries and thinking outside the box. I love clothes so being able to play dress up without the price tag, was an added bonus for me. The very talented Clare of Angelz Hair Salon in Ballon and equally talented makeup artist Emma Maher and her friends, gave very generously of their time to make sure that we were stage ready. Faith Amond did a wonderful job presenting the night with her unrivaled glamorous flare and the dancers from The Dance Republic were beautiful to watch.

The lads and ladies of Ballon GFC did a super job transferring their skills from the pitch to the stage, with models of all ages taking part. Ballon is such a vibrant village, with a super community spirit and the night was really well supported by the local community. The Community Centre or Ballon Hall as it’s called, has always been at the heart of that spirit. As a child, I spent so much time there, doing everything from athletics, Irish dancing, variety group, scouts, speech and drama, to teenage discos.

I’m sure I even had a smooch or two around the back! And now it forms part of my children’s and husbands lives too. The hall is licensed to hold up to 500 people and as well as being home to a huge variety of sporting and fitness classes, it is also available for hire for parties, dances, fares etc and hopefully the fashion show will have generated lots of money to help with the upkeep of such a wonderful local resource.

I’m really glad I took part. Once upon a time I would have cared what I looked like and I would have cared what other people thought I looked like. These days I only care that life is short and I’m determined to fill mine with as many fun, new experiences as possible.

Choosing A Family Car

My childless self owned an Audi A3, which I'm pretty sure wasn't full of junk. However, once children arrived, it became apparent that lifting a car seat in and out of a three door car wasn't the wisest thing to be doing with chronic back issues and so I updated to my first estate. And I'm not going to lie, it made me itchy. At the time my husband commented that we should probably buy a people carrier, seeing as I always wanted more children but I refused to test drive one. I think I simply equated a people carrier with middle age and like Dylan Thomas I was not going gently into that dark night! So I raged (in a conformist, middle aged way) and we bought an estate. And then we had three children and three car seats didn't fit. And picking friends up for play dates or carrying extra passengers became impossible and I realised that I was an idiot and suddenly a people carrier seemed like a brainwave. So we had a rejig. My husband inherited my car and sold his prized sporty, 2 litre petrol Mercedes, which could probably have serviced the national debt of a small country and I got my people carrier.

But not before doing lots of research. I read review after review. Safety features, design features, affordability, milage, boot space. We toured garages and I test drove lots of cars but kept coming back to the Peugeot 5008. It had all the space we needed without the feeling of being a huge car. It felt good to drive, got really great reviews and it looked OK. The absolute deciding factor for me was the five star rating the car received from the Euro NCAP. The European New Car Assessment Programme is a car safety performance assessment programme, founded by the UK Department for Transport and backed by several European governments and the EU.

They created the five-star safety rating system, determined from a series of vehicle tests, representing real life accident scenarios that could result in injured or killed car occupants or other road users. There's a really great website, enabling you to search all makes and models, giving a quick synopsis and a more detailed safety report to download. Our budget didn't extend to a new car so we sourced a UK car, which tend to have higher specifications for better value. My husband set off on a trains, planes and automobiles adventure. He flew to Liverpool, took an hours train journey, picked up the car, drove to Holyhead and took the ferry home. Even with paying the vehicle registration tax, we managed to save a couple of thousand euro. But the best part was, the children's seats magically came with Kinder Eggs!

4 of us moved into our shiny new car and it quickly became an extension of our home. Sadly, it even more quickly lost its shine, aided in part by a mildly traumatic trapping in a car wash but that's possibly a story for another day!