Due Dates & Daydreams

This week we should be celebrating a second birthday.  I should be baking a cake and deciding which much loved Disney character will adorn it.  I should be bestowing birthday kisses, helping to blow out candles and smiling in pride as another milestone in my child's life is reached.  Party photos should be added to the album that houses other precious memories - first steps, first tooth, first hair cut.  My older children should be chasing my younger ones across the garden, hiding behind bushes and waiting to shout "found you".  A small hand should be enclosed in mine.  Bright eyes should twinkle at me.  Two perfect lips should say words my heart aches to hear.  Instead the date will go by like it did last year.  Just another collection of numbers, important only to me.  Remembered only by me.  There will be no party in this house this July, or any other because there was no baby born here in July.  There is only what should have been.

So I will wake on July 27th, the day my fourth baby was due and I will take my cup of tea out to the garden and I will stand with pieces of my heart missing at the spot where my babies are buried and I will breathe.  Sometimes tears come.  Sometimes I get angry.  Sometimes I smile because loss has taken me on the journey to where I am now.  It's so much a part of not only the mother but also the woman that I am.  It colours my days because I know that life is precious.  It's for packing full of laughter.  This week I will hold my precious 8 month old son in my arms and I will love him and his older brother and sister until my heart bursts and my lost babies will be there with us, as we hop and skip and chase in the garden because they are my children and I am their mother and they are in all that I do.

"Golden slumbers fill your eyes,

Smiles await you when you rise,

Sleep pretty darling do not cry,

And I will sing a lullaby".

Family Photo's

Few things capture "I love you" like the family photo. Family life, in a snapshot which will forever more adorn the walls of hallways and living room mantels the world over.  No pressure right?

I love photographs.  They are on every available surface of my house. The smiling faces of my kids at various stages of their young lives. Myself and friends on some far flung adventure. My husbands sporting achievements. My parents wedding anniversary. Happy times.  Here's the but - I love unposed, natural photos.  For some reason when someone produces a camera and says "cheese" that's exactly what I turn into. A giant, awkward, ball of grinning cheese.  

So although thrilled when we were gifted a family photo session, I was also anxious.  First world problems, I know but a legacy of horrendous communion and confirmation photos has taken it's toll.

I found myself frantically googling what to wear, how to stand, how to not look like a complete idiot in your family photo.  For the woman who has to make a daily choice between having a shower or eating breakfast I knew getting and keeping five of us clean and out the door was going to be no mean feat.  And don't even get me started on choosing outfits.  Thankfully I found loads of helpful tips from photography websites. 

Choose coordinating rather than matching colours

Having two boys and a very girly girl I really wanted to find something that would work for us all so I choose my daughters favourite skirt and built around the colours in that - beiges, blues, pinks - all complimenting colours.

Limit the use of patterns

I limited patterns to one item of clothing each for the kids and us grown ups just wore a straight block of colour. Patterns can detract from the overall image by making it appear too busy.

Say no to novelty or character t-shirts

Like patterns these can really detract from the final look of the photo.  They will also date.

Don't be afraid to accessorise

As in any situation accessories can really add to the look of an outfit.  Things like ties, scarves, hats, necklaces and even teddy bears can all be used to add character or as a talking point.

Planning ahead

Think about the kinds of photographs you would like.  As well as a good family picture I also wanted to get individual photos of each of the children, all three together, just the boys, just the girls etc.  It's good to give the photographer a list of your requirements so that you come away from the experience happy.  

Relax & Enjoy the experience

My family are my favourite people in the world.  I love spending time with them so even though I look like a deer startled by headlights when put in front of a camera I just tried to view the photography session as something new and fun for us to try. I loved seeing the kids interact with each other, pose with silly faces, hug each other fiercely and I just tried to relax and let that shine through.

The end result is a mixture of some really beautiful shots which I'll proudly display coupled with some dodgier ones which will play hide-and-seek in a very dark drawer for a very long time!