A Thank You From The Milk Bank

Today was a tough day at the Momma Q office. I've started to wean my nearly 9 month old son. We've had ongoing issues with posterior tongue and upper lip ties.  He had laser revision a couple of weeks ago but unfortunately, as with previous revisions, we haven't seen any improvements and this time I feel all out of options.  It's not something I'm doing lightly.  I absolutely love the connection breastfeeding brings and frankly not being able to nourish and comfort my baby in the way that he seeks is really breaking my heart.  I'm down to two feeds a day and I'm in the middle of yet another infection so the letter I received in the post today really brought a tear to my eye.

Token of appreciation from the Milk Bank 

It was from the Milk Bank, thanking me for my recent donation and sending me a little commemorative pin as a token of their appreciation.  I've always been a blood donor and since having children donating milk is something I've wanted to do.  Thankfully I have never had any issues with supply and our own difficulties this time around spurred me into action.  I knew that if I had to stop feeding my own son then I would be relying on the kindness of strangers to help us through and so expressing milk for donation to babies in need of it seemed like a very natural thing to do.  

Ireland has one Human Milk Bank, situated in Fermanagh.  Here, human milk is collected and processed before being made available to neonatal units and hospitals right across the country.  The Milk Bank issues over 1,000 litres of breast milk every year, helping in the region of 700 babies. There are well over 200 mums donating, including some incredibly selfless warrior mommas who have lost their own babies and choose to donate milk to honour their child's memory .

In order to donate, my own baby had to be 6 months or under.  This limit can vary from time to time but a quick call to the Milk Bank answers any queries and I collected milk right up until Ruairí was 7 months old.  During my initial chat with Ann we had a detailed conversation about my health and history.  I then received my starter pack of pre-sterilised 7 ounce bottles.  Each of these is filled with expressed breast milk, named, dated and then frozen.  Once I had these filled, the remainder were sent, along with a blood testing kit for my GP.  Every donating Mum has their blood screened for infectious diseases.  Receiving a blood transfusion or IVF treatment, in addition to some medications automatically rule a mother out of donating.  Mums are asked not to express for 48 hours after taking over the counter medications and herbal treatments also.

One 7 ounce bottle

When I had filled as many bottles as I could manage (3 litres) and had my blood test done, I contacted the Milk Bank to let them know I would be sending it on. They provide insulated storage containers and the milk is packed tightly into these.  Any extra space is filled with bubble wrap, plastic or news paper.  The blood sample is placed on top of this box and then it is sealed and packaged within another box and sent via express mail.

Packing milk for postage

Once donated milk is received, it is checked for protein and fat content.  It is then pasteurised and then rechecked for bacteria,  Only after this thorough screening process is milk sent out to hospitals for the babies in their care.  Donated milk is matched to babies of a similar age.  The list of benefits provided by breast milk is pretty endless.  From lower incidences of asthma, eczema, diabetes and childhood infections to better health outcomes in later life, the research is well documented. Antibodies strengthen the immune system and help fight viruses.  Of particular importance is the protection it provides against Necrotizing Enterocolitis (NEC), a potentially life threatening condition affecting a babies gut.  All babies are at risk of NEC but particularly babies who are born prematurely or with a heart condition.  Those that survive the condition often require surgery.  Research has found that babies who receive donor breast milk are at a reduced risk of developing this condition (some studies suggest by as much as 79%)  Truly for some infants receiving breast milk is a matter of life or death.

Separation from baby, maternal illness, supply issues are all reasons a family may opt to use donor milk for their baby.  Donor milk is also given to mums feeding multiple babies.  Breast milk is often referred to as liquid gold and anyone who has ever expressed milk will testify to the fact that every drop counts.  Breastfeeding, expressing breast milk and bottle feeding, donating milk - it's not always easy but since becoming a mother nearly seven years ago it is definitely up there with the most rewarding things I have done.  It has given my children such a great start in life and thanks to the Milk Bank for their lovely letter I now know that my milk helped three other precious little ones to recover from surgery.  

Being a mother teaches me new things every day.  Today's lesson though is an old one - the best things in life truly are free.  Kindness, a helping hand, a smile, a thank you - these are the things that really matter.

Why I love being at home with my children

Before having my first child I was given lots of well meaning but sometimes utterly terrifying advice ­ sleep when they sleep, enjoy your free time now because you’ll never have it again, your body will never be the same, labour is ***** (insert expletive of choice here). What no one told me was that I might love becoming a mother so much that I would happily hang up my stilettoes, office job and perfectly coiffed hair in favour of a less glamorous but for me infinitely more rewarding career as Chief Executive Mom!

Here’s some of my favourite things about being at home with my kids:

Being there 100% for my children 
Although sometimes completely exhausting, not to mention a little overwhelming, this is one of the main reasons I chose to stay at home. I get to spend all day with these incredible people. I get to see them grow and develop everyday. Their first smiles were when our eyes met, funny faces at their first tastes of food, falling into my arms when taking faltering first steps. I kiss away sad tears and laugh outrageously at the chicken crossing the road for the 70th time. I’m there for first thing in the morning cuddles and last thing at night I love you’s and all that happens in between.

Lazy Days
Life gets a bit more restrictive as the children get older with school schedules and extracurricular activities but in those early days of being a Mommy the hours, days and weeks spent curled up on the couch or in bed with my newborns are some of my most precious memories. The smells, the skin­-to­skin, the breastfeeding, the gentle humming of lullabies.

New Interests
It turns out that chasing butterflies around the garden and explaining the life cycle of the earthworm has led me to develop interests I never in a gazillion years imagined I’d pursue. As well as growing our own veggies, we raise our own chicken (singular due to an unfortunate incident with the family dog). We compost! I’ve discovered I like to plant things and I take immense pleasure when little green buds emerge and I have somehow managed not to kill said herb / vegetable / flower /scrub. I even know how to make garden lasagne ­who knew!!  I make a mean chocolate cake too.

Friendships
I’ve been lucky enough to have the time to build long­lasting, close friendships with other mums. The kind of friendships that when the suppositories have run out and it's 2am and you have a screaming child on your hands you know they can come to your rescue. We share laughs and tears, struggles and joys as we move through our mothering journey together. They’ve got my back. They get it.

An Appreciation of My Body
My body is freaking awesome. There I've said it. My body grew three amazing people. Sadly it wasn't able to carry to birth the three more that grew within but in­spite of that it carried on working, even with it's heart broken it got me out of bed and kept me putting one foot in front of the other until I was eventually able to smile again and carry on, even with parts of me missing. My body nourished my babies with milk tailor made to suit their needs. My body has superpowers because a simple kiss from my lips can stop tears dead in their tracks.

Respect for other women
We laugh, we love, we cry, we hurt, we make tough decisions, we are hard on ourselves, we are hard on each other, we live, we lose, we birth, we bury. Women are incredible. We are a million different things rolled into one.

A Desire To Be Healthy
I want to be the best me that I can be for my children. I want to be around to see my grandchildren and maybe even their children. Being at home gives me time to learn about the foods we eat and their benefits to our health and well being. It gives me time to meal plan and to cook from scratch. I can bake cookies with my daughter whenever our greedy guts tell us we need them ­ which is a lot! I’m more conscious of taking my time reading labels and trying to steer us away from processed foods.

Me Time
O.k. so I love being with the kids but that doesn’t mean there aren’t days when my husband gets home that he literally doesn’t see me for dust I hightail it out of here so fast. We give so much of ourselves away and it is very easy for the children to become the sole focus of our energies. It’s so important to take time out to do the things we love and to remember the essence of who we are without having anyone demand anything of us. For me triathlon training gives me the time and space I need to recharge my batteries and come back to my family with my own spark in my eye.

Freedom
 I love creating my own schedule­ in the words of Princess Jasmine “No one to tell us no, or where to go lalalala”. Some days are jammie days just because someone hasn’t slept well or it’s cold and miserable outside or I just feel like snuggling my babies. Yes the school run gets in the way but sometimes a long coat and winter boots are all that’s needed to disguise a telltale onesie!! Being at home gives us the freedom to have an impromptu beach trip, a forest walk, a splash in the local pool, scones with jam and cream in a fancy cafe.

The Intensity Of Emotion
I never imagined that watching my eldest son score his first try at rugby training or my daughter skipping out of ballet practice or my littlest rolling over could make my heart swell with such immense pride. I never knew that seeing them cry would make my heart ache. I didn’t know that my last desire at night would be to creep into their rooms and plant one more kiss on their sleeping foreheads. I never dreamed that the ordinary could be so extraordinary. And I certainly never for one second believed that I deserved so much happiness.