A Thank You From The Milk Bank

Today was a tough day at the Momma Q office. I've started to wean my nearly 9 month old son. We've had ongoing issues with posterior tongue and upper lip ties.  He had laser revision a couple of weeks ago but unfortunately, as with previous revisions, we haven't seen any improvements and this time I feel all out of options.  It's not something I'm doing lightly.  I absolutely love the connection breastfeeding brings and frankly not being able to nourish and comfort my baby in the way that he seeks is really breaking my heart.  I'm down to two feeds a day and I'm in the middle of yet another infection so the letter I received in the post today really brought a tear to my eye.

Token of appreciation from the Milk Bank 

It was from the Milk Bank, thanking me for my recent donation and sending me a little commemorative pin as a token of their appreciation.  I've always been a blood donor and since having children donating milk is something I've wanted to do.  Thankfully I have never had any issues with supply and our own difficulties this time around spurred me into action.  I knew that if I had to stop feeding my own son then I would be relying on the kindness of strangers to help us through and so expressing milk for donation to babies in need of it seemed like a very natural thing to do.  

Ireland has one Human Milk Bank, situated in Fermanagh.  Here, human milk is collected and processed before being made available to neonatal units and hospitals right across the country.  The Milk Bank issues over 1,000 litres of breast milk every year, helping in the region of 700 babies. There are well over 200 mums donating, including some incredibly selfless warrior mommas who have lost their own babies and choose to donate milk to honour their child's memory .

In order to donate, my own baby had to be 6 months or under.  This limit can vary from time to time but a quick call to the Milk Bank answers any queries and I collected milk right up until Ruairí was 7 months old.  During my initial chat with Ann we had a detailed conversation about my health and history.  I then received my starter pack of pre-sterilised 7 ounce bottles.  Each of these is filled with expressed breast milk, named, dated and then frozen.  Once I had these filled, the remainder were sent, along with a blood testing kit for my GP.  Every donating Mum has their blood screened for infectious diseases.  Receiving a blood transfusion or IVF treatment, in addition to some medications automatically rule a mother out of donating.  Mums are asked not to express for 48 hours after taking over the counter medications and herbal treatments also.

One 7 ounce bottle

When I had filled as many bottles as I could manage (3 litres) and had my blood test done, I contacted the Milk Bank to let them know I would be sending it on. They provide insulated storage containers and the milk is packed tightly into these.  Any extra space is filled with bubble wrap, plastic or news paper.  The blood sample is placed on top of this box and then it is sealed and packaged within another box and sent via express mail.

Packing milk for postage

Once donated milk is received, it is checked for protein and fat content.  It is then pasteurised and then rechecked for bacteria,  Only after this thorough screening process is milk sent out to hospitals for the babies in their care.  Donated milk is matched to babies of a similar age.  The list of benefits provided by breast milk is pretty endless.  From lower incidences of asthma, eczema, diabetes and childhood infections to better health outcomes in later life, the research is well documented. Antibodies strengthen the immune system and help fight viruses.  Of particular importance is the protection it provides against Necrotizing Enterocolitis (NEC), a potentially life threatening condition affecting a babies gut.  All babies are at risk of NEC but particularly babies who are born prematurely or with a heart condition.  Those that survive the condition often require surgery.  Research has found that babies who receive donor breast milk are at a reduced risk of developing this condition (some studies suggest by as much as 79%)  Truly for some infants receiving breast milk is a matter of life or death.

Separation from baby, maternal illness, supply issues are all reasons a family may opt to use donor milk for their baby.  Donor milk is also given to mums feeding multiple babies.  Breast milk is often referred to as liquid gold and anyone who has ever expressed milk will testify to the fact that every drop counts.  Breastfeeding, expressing breast milk and bottle feeding, donating milk - it's not always easy but since becoming a mother nearly seven years ago it is definitely up there with the most rewarding things I have done.  It has given my children such a great start in life and thanks to the Milk Bank for their lovely letter I now know that my milk helped three other precious little ones to recover from surgery.  

Being a mother teaches me new things every day.  Today's lesson though is an old one - the best things in life truly are free.  Kindness, a helping hand, a smile, a thank you - these are the things that really matter.

A Visit To The Breast Clinic

There is something very humbling about sitting in a radiology department, wearing a paper gown that opens at the front.  The sign on the door says "Breast Clinic In Progress".  The pain in my breast is searing and the fear in my heart is very real.  The nurse assures me in hushed tones that the doctor is "very good" and "really lovely". Her easy manner and reassuring smile offer comfort.

It's a beautiful sunny day and I should be hitting the beach, I think, laden down with buckets & spades and sandy sandwiches and squabbling children.  I wish that's where I was.  I'm trying to get there in my mind but the burning sensation in my right breast refuses to allow it.

I've had ongoing pain for months.  I'm breastfeeding my 7 month old son who has a posterior tongue and upper lip ties.  It's been challenging.  I've had recurrent mastitis, blocked ducts, vasospasm but this stabbing, take my breath away pain, is something relatively new.  Something that isn't going away with antibiotics or the prescription painkillers I'm taking twice a day.  Something that's frightening me.

It's probably nothing.  It's probably related to the difficulties I'm having with feeding but I can't help but let my mind wander. I'm called into the ultrasound room and as I am laying down, the doctor comes in and she is every bit as lovely as I was told she would be.  She asks about my symptoms as she covers my breast in gel and starts to run the probe up and down across my chest.  I don't realise that I'm holding my breath. Ultrasounds and I are not friends.  I'm watching the screen but I don't know what I am looking at or for.  Then she is finished and I hear myself exhale as the smiling doctor tells me that what she is looking at is a perfectly normal, lactating breast and that from her point of view there is absolutely nothing to worry about.  

Relief washes over me but is almost instantly replaced by questions.  If there is no underlying problem then what exactly is causing the pain?  What does she recommend?  Starflower oil and no guilt if I decide to stop breastfeeding are the answers.  I'm handed some literature on breast examination and told to check my breasts regularly and get very familiar with what is "normal" for me and then I'm finished and I'm back in my own clothes, on the road home, to my baby, whom I hold closely and feed while thinking about just how lucky I am. 

I Love Breastfeeding

I love breastfeeding. I love the incredible health benefits it gives to myself and my children. I love that as a mom on the go I can just feed on the sidelines of gaelic/soccer/ rugby/ athletics fields whilst watching my older kids train. Not to mention the swimming pool, ballet lessons and the grocery store car park. Breastfeeding is highly compatible with life as a taxi driver - oh sorry, I mean mum of three! 

I love that it's free. I love that I can leave the house with a nappy and wipes and my boobs.  I love that my body knows exactly what my baby needs.  I love the journey that breastfeeding has taken me on, different with all three of my children. Each journey throwing up different challenges.  It is these challenges that have led me to seek out help and support. And I have found it in spades, both on and offline.  There is a whole community of incredible, strong, knowledgeable women who have got my back.  

My seven month old has a posterior tongue tie and an upper lip tie.  I knew within days of his birth that feeding wasn't what it should be. Yes breastfeeding can initially be sore and uncomfortable but when your toes are curling and you are in tears dreading feeding your baby there is something wrong.  But every breastfeeding problem has a breastfeeding solution and with the right help and support difficulties can be overcome.  Sometimes a minor tweak or change in positioning is all that is required.

Breastfeeding my littlest at times makes me really sad.  I fed his older sister until one day when she was two and a bit she announced 'they don't work' and that was the end of that!

This time around I've had recurrent mastitis, sore, cracked,bleeding nipples, blocked ducts and the latest joy of joys is vasospasm - a constriction or narrowing of the blood vessels in the nipple causing extreme pain (especially on cold days). We've had two failed revisions and I've had times where I just want to scream in frustration. I feel I'm being deprived of the magical experience I know breastfeeding can be.

Being perfectly honest I'm looking forward to the day my son weans and that hurts my heart. Maybe if he wasn't my last I'd be more inclined to look at artificial feeding methods but he is my last. I'll never have this time again and so I'm determined that I will breastfeed for as long as he needs and breastfeeding needs are about so much more than nutrition.

Often those of us who are passionate about breastfeeding are accused of bullying and of making others feel bad. We are portrayed as doing something shameful by feeding our hungry babies in public. We are made to feel our bodies can't do what they are designed to do. We are undermined with poor information and ridiculous myths.

I've had a doctor tell me to stop making a martyr of myself and to give formula when I presented with a particularly bad episode of mastitis, advice that could have landed me in hospital, away from my new baby.  I've had health professionals tell me tongue tie isn't real, that it's some sort of trendy fad and that my son doesn't have one, when it was been doubly diagnosed by experts in breastfeeding.

And that is the crux of it and why so many of us feel we fail.  We are being failed by a complete lack of investment and it would seem interest on the part of our Government.

I'm so thankful to the incredible women of Cuidiu, La Leche League and Friends of Breastfeeding, who give so freely and generously of their time and their training, even at 4am, when you're a blubbering mess of hormones and tiredness.  I'm so thankful to the wonderful online community of mommas who are strangers to me in real life and yet know more about my parenting journey than some of those I meet at the school gate on a daily basis.

And I'll be forever grateful to the amazingly kind momma who after my latest online vent on a particularly bad day,took it upon herself to not only send me a treatment which would help ease my pain but also to include some delicious chocolates and some very kind words of encouragement.  A real hero.  Her kindness and the mantra of never quit on a bad day has kept me going.