Putting The Friend In Friendship

There’s nothing quite like a chat with an old friend to lift your spirits.  As time moves on and families grow and so too do time commitments, I have found it increasingly difficult to catch up with my college girls.  I think about them often, the carefree times we shared, living and travelling the world together, taking our first real independent steps into adulthood. Get togethers are few and far between and I miss them.  I miss the divilment we used to get up to and I miss the chats and laughter that comes with sharing your life with friends. And I miss that they don’t really know the person that I am now. This Mommy person, who bakes, while doing homework and emptying the dishwasher before heading off to teach fitness classes is a tad different than the chain smoking, vodka swilling, centre of the dancefloor, wild woman, I once was.

Feeling nostalgic and under the guise of watching rugby training, I managed to sneak in an hour-long phone catch up with one of my best buds.  Within minutes of her picking up, I felt lighter, my mood was lifted and it got me thinking about just how hugely important our closest circles are and that even though we may be separated by distance and time, our friendships are our support systems, our tribe, and in many cases a lifeline.  By the time I hung up, we had barley stopped to breathe, as we caught each other up, tried to solve problems, laughed and promised to make meet up plans really soon.  And I vowed, as I always do, to simply make a greater effort to foster the important relationships in my life. But how?

Life coach Mar Healy has some sage advice.  “I always think that the arrival of a new baby is a good opportunity to figure out which friendships really matter to you, and which you might need to look at letting go of.  Your time is more precious now, than ever before, and you want to invest in friendships that nourish and support you and add to your life in a positive way.  If you come away from meeting a friend feeling, good, happy and a little better, then you’ve got a good one and you should try to hang on to it.  If on the flip side, your time together is always draining or hard work, it may be better to delicately let go and move on.  Making regular time to meet a good friend, who you feel relaxed and happy around, and who lifts your spirits is a brilliant way to be a better Mama.  You get time out and head space, quality adult human connection, and, as a result, come home a kinder, more tolerant and happier person to your little ones, and so everyone wins”.

As I get older and time becomes more of a precious commodity I’ve decided to take this advice and to truly invest in the people who support me, build me up and love me most.  

You can find out more about Mar’s great work at Mar Healy Coaching at www.marhealy.com